Through My Crimson Eyes
by DemonClowSorceress
Summary: A look at the infamous Sanzo-Ikkou from the most unlikely of observers. Rated T for a little heavy swearing.


**Through My Crimson Eyes**

**By: DemonClowSorceress**

Disclaimer: **_Saiyuki _**is not mine. Crabs. If it were, I'd totally have Hakuryuu as my pet and transport. ^_^

Summery: A look at the infamous Sanzo-Ikkou through the eyes of Hakuryuu, their adorable companion and transport.

* * *

"Kyuu!"

I stretch my wings, so glad to be resting and not carrying four noisy men on my back. My neck cramps, so I reach out as far as I can like a cat, making sure every muscle is extended before curling back into a coil. The moon is high in the dark sky, glowing down on our group. I'm tired - what dragon wouldn't be after driving for so long over such rough ground? - but not tired enough to sleep. It's a beautiful, calm night, and for once there is no threat of youkai attacking us.

For now, anyway. These guys attract all sorts of weirdos.

Raising my head, I glance over the four men who I have come to consider, in a strange way, my family. They are each a different kind of strange and sad. They do not fit in anywhere in this world, except with each other. Living contradictions, the bunch of them.

A holy Sanzo priest who smokes, drinks, swears, and uses a small gun to kill youkai and threaten people.

A boy born of rock, a heretical being neither human or youkai, but with a soul possessing godlike power.

A man with crimson hair and eyes, born of human and youkai and considered unclean to both.

A man who was human, but bathed in the blood of a thousand youkai only to become one himself.

And me? I am called Hakuryuu, and I am with these four all hours of the day. I cannot speak (well, to them anyway) so I watch, and I listen, and I learn.

It's remarkable what you can learn about someone once you spend time with them.

Let me try to explain...

**(o_^) Cho Hakkai (o_^)**

The easiest to talk about would be my "master" Cho Hakkai. I'll start with him.

He found me, took me in, despite my being a taboo existance. I don't know where I'd be without him. Even when he found out I turned into a Jeep, he didn't mind. Actually, I think he liked it. He even gave me my name, Hakuryuu.

From what I've gathered, his name wasn't always Hakkai. Before he was Cho Hakkai, he was Cho Gonou. It puzzled me until I heard him and Gojyo talking about the earliest days of their friendship. And I heard bits and pieces here and there, so I got a general picture.

Hakkai used to be human.

I almost couldn't believe it - my master, a human? I'd always smelled the scent of youkai when I perched on his shoulder. How could a human become a youkai?

Blood.

The blood of a thousand youkai, spilled as my then-human master had fought his way into a youkai stronghold to take back what had been taken from him. He'd gone to take back a loved one, and watched her kill herself with his own knife, unable to protect her.

This woman haunts Hakkai still, her ghost floating in the depths of his real eye and in the corners of his soul. I can see it every time he uses his chi to heal. He heals in an effort to protect others, to keep them from leaving him as she did.

My master never wants to be alone again.

Once, the others had gone into town for supplies and food. Hakkai stayed behind because he was still weak from an earlier battle. Goku tried to take me with them, but I felt like my place was back with my master. So I flew back to the inn and slipped in the window of the room where we were staying.

He was crying in his sleep.

It startled me, to say the least. My master was normally the smiling face of the Sanzo-Ikkou, be he angry, tired, or happy. He never cried in front of them. Floating over to him, I tried to lick his tears away. The salty drops tasted of regret, pain, and loss.

His eyes, glass and true, flew open in shock. "Hakuryuu?" he said, sitting up and picking me up gently. "What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

_Why are you crying? _I wanted to ask. "Kyuu!" I said instead, flapping my wings.

"Are you hungry?"

It was one of the few times I thought _Why can't I speak human? _So I said, "Kyuu!" and stretched my neck to lick a stray tear away. I didn't like seeing my master so out of character.

He brushed his cheek and stared at the wetness glistening on his fingertips. "Was I crying again?" he murmured. "And here I thought it was just in my dream..."

I looked around the room to find something to cheer him up. Spying the deck of cards left on the table, I tugged Hakkai's sleeve and flew over to the cards. A puff of flame lit the candle that rested in the center of the table. "Kyuu!" I called, putting my claw on the cards insistantly. _Play with me,_ I tried to convey. _Forget about dreams and scary things and crying alone. Play with me._

In the silvery moonlight and the light of the lone candle, I saw a gentle smile. "Are you trying to cheer me up, Hakuryuu?" he asked. "And you obviously want to play cards. Well then, I can't just turn down a challenge like that, can I?"

"Kyuu!" I said. If I could, I would've been smiling. "Kyuu kyuu, kyuu!"

When the others came back, I drew my final card and laid them out in front of my little white body. "Kyuu kyuu!" I chirped, jumping up and down. I'd watched enough games to know my cards beat his.

Gojyo looked at my cards and snorted. "Oy, Hakkai! Your little pet's beat your straight with a royal flush!"

Hakkai stared at his hand - all numbered hearts - and to mine - all spades - before laughing. The others joined in, the sound a true medley that made my soul glow with happiness.

My master is a man who wears a smiling mask, hiding the loneliness he's always felt. He tries to save everyone to make up for not saving her. But I am always there to save _him_ from the loneliness, just as he saved me all those years ago.

**~=== Sha Gojyo ===~**

Well, to be perfectly honest, I did not like Sha Gojyo when Hakkai first brought me home. His stinky house, his brash manners, and even the cigarette that was dangling from his lips - all of it told me that this was a man who lived on chance, booze, and the seat of his pants.

But what really, really made me dislike him was actually something quite surprising - he and I were both considered taboo.

He's a half-blood, a child of human and youkai. I could smell it under the stink of alchohol and cigarettes. It was an unusual tangy smell, a mix of coppery human and earthy youkai. It was very different to me, and back then I was still wary of different things. The fact that he was a brash, rude, chain-smoking, womanizing bastard hadn't helped either. Several times I wondered why my master continued to live with him.

But with time came understanding. Gojyo acts like a jerk, but he is fiercely protective of the others, especially Hakkai. Despite picking on Goku, he always makes sure to cheer up the boy when he is down. He bickers with Sanzo, but protects him as well. He likes to flirt shamelessly, but has a soft spot for children.

Once, I had woken up in the middle of the night to see Gojyo sneaking out of our hotel room. He had something in his hand, which I recognized as the plastic square that Sanzo used to get us food. I figured he was going out to drink and gamble, so I grumbled about being woken up and tried to settle down and go back to sleep.

Imagine my surprise when I heard his voice outside the window. "Oy, kid. Get out here."

I peeked out and saw a kid - we'd seen him earlier that day when we'd arrived at the village - creeping out of the trees. Gojyo waved the card in front of him, along with his lighter. "You tried taking these earlier, didn't you?"

The boy stared at the ground, ashamed. "Yeah."

"Why?"

The boy's shoulders slumped. "I'm an orphan," he said. Later I learned that word meant he didn't have any parents - just like Gojyo. "I was hungry, and I have a little sister too. I thought the card could get food and I could sell the lighter to - "

"Brat. You're lucky that poor excuse for a monk didn't shoot your hand off." Reflex made the redhead glance back in case Sanzo woke up. He saw me and sighed. "Oy, Hakuryuu. This is between you, me, and the moon, okay?"

"Kyuu?" I replied, not really understanding at the time. _Are you going to beat the kid for trying to steal?_

"Kid." Said kid flinched as the kappa's hand rested on his head. "Come on. Let's go get your sister and I'll treat you two to some food."

The boy resembled Goku at those words, with big eyes and practically salivating. "Really?"

"Really," Gojyo said with a soft smile I'd never seen him show in front of the others. Giving me a last look, he led the boy back into town, and I thought he looked like a kind big brother right then.

Now I understand his brashness, his wisecracks, his lewd comments. It is a shield, protecting his big, fragile heart. Death also hangs in his shadow, stemming from his crimson eyes and hair. He tries to hide the hurt his appearance causes him with laughs and wisecacks, but it is only a sham.

Sha Gojyo is a man who wears the mask of a punk, hiding the scars of his cursed existance. But I know he truly cares for others. So I show that I care for him as best I can without actually _showing_ him, so he doesn't feel so alone.

**^_^ Son Goku ^_^**

When I first met Goku, I knew immediately he was something different. Unique. Special.

For one, he smelled like nothing I'd ever smelled before. He smelled like the Earth. Not like youkai, who smell kinda earthy, but like _Nature_. It was an awesome smell. If Hakkai was doing something and didn't need me to tag along, I'd perch on Goku's shoulder and take whiffs of his scent.

For another, he eats more than any being I'd ever seen. Seriously, does he have a bottomless stomach? But I don't mind, because he shares with me a lot. He won't share with Gojyo, but he'll share with me. I still remember that one time when Sanzo, Gojyo and Hakkai were in the drinking contest, Goku and I stuffed ourselves with food as our companions drank like fish, until only my master was left standing (he never gets drunk, thought I don't get how) and Goku and I had distended stomachs.

But the most important reason is because, even after being locked up in a mountain cage for five hundred years without any reason or memory of why, Goku is one of the kindest people I know. He is childlike and innocent, and he always has time to play with me. He worries about others a lot, something that Sanzo and Gojyo get annoyed by. When he wakes up after turning into his other self, he's always remorseful about it.

I remember a time when Goku and I were at a festival, salivating over the food stalls. We'd gotten seperated from the others somehow, but rather than look for them, Goku decided to stuff his face. I tagged along because hey, free food, and I didn't want to leave the saru alone.

Well, we got captured by some youkai. I still don't get how. But we were kidnapped and locked up in an underground prison. They'd beaten and chained Goku to the wall, and I had been tied up like a rabbit. A few of the more malicious ones had even taunted the boy, saying he deserved to rot in these chains, calling him a heretic. Once they grew bored, they left with a last smack or kick to me.

But they'd forgotten to muzzle me - a good thing. My sharp teeth made quick work of the rope.

Goku stirred as I scrabbled up the walls, looking up at me through almost swollen-shut eyes. "Hakuryuu," he groaned weakly. "Ya better hurry...'fore they get back. Hurry an' go...get Sanzo."

The way he said it made me stop mid-wiggle out of the bars. Looking back, I saw him slump even more in his chains, as if hunkering down for a long time. I had to give a high-pitched "Kyuu!" when I saw the light fade from his golden eyes, turning them vacant and unseeing. _Don't listen to those youkai! _I tried to say with my one-word vocabulary. _Just don't! No one deserves this!_

"S'okay...Hakuryuu..." he said softly, his eyelids sliding shut. "Just...go...and get...San...zo..."

But I couldn't leave him. He just looked so helpless - a far cry from what I've seen of him in combat - and so scared. Scared to be alone again.

So I crawled back down and huddled on his shoulders, shielding his head with my wings and nosing his cheek. He jumped in surprise. "Hakuryuu? What're ya doin'?"

"Kyuu," I retorted. _I'm not leaving you._

I knew the others would come for us - it was only a matter of time before they noticed we were missing - so I stayed with Goku. I never moved from his shoulders, even when we heard the familiar BANG-BANG-BANG of Sanzo's banishing gun blasting a hole through our captors' ranks. When they arrived at the cell, I could see the light return to Goku's eyes when he saw Sanzo outside the bars, the priest's horror at the boy's condition evident in his eyes.

"Goku!" shouted Hakkai, quickly picking the cell door lock. "Are you all right? Goku!"

The saru's bruised and battered face split into a giant grin, slightly weaker than normal due to his injuries. "M'fine, Hakkai," he said. "I had Hakuryuu wi' me this whole time." His head tilted and he rubbed his cheek against me, thanking me quietly. I kyuu'd in response, thankful that I'd helped in some small way.

I think it's amazing. Of the group, I think Goku is probably the one most hurt by his past because he can't remember any of it before being freed by Sanzo. He was imprisoned and doesn't know why. That kind of loneliness haunts a person in so many ways. But the fact that Goku can still be so cheerful is just amazing.

Son Goku wears the mask of a child, hiding the pain of his unknown past. I play with the child, trying to heal whatever forgotten scars existed in his soul so he knows that wherever we go, he'll never be alone again.

**~=== Genjyo Sanzo ===~**

How can you even begin to describe the Sanzo-Ikkou without the central reason they exist?

Most of what I know about Sanzo I hear secondhand. Gojyo calls him a fake monk. I've heard Goku refer to him as his sun, whatever that means. Hakkai doesn't speak about him much, but when he does, it is with great respect and gratitude.

But how do I feel about Sanzo?

I don't like it when he threatens to shoot people while we're driving along - what if he misses and hits me? He's done that a couple times, and it _hurts_. I don't like it when he smokes in the hotel room, although I have to admit, his cigarettes aren't as bad as Gojyo's. I don't like it when he starts whacking people with that harisen - where the heck does he pull that thing from?

But I also know that he's not always such a jerk. It's rare, but I've seen it. He is human, and he has his weak moments just like everyone else.

Like rain. He doesn't like the rain. At all.

I remember in one village on a rainy evening, I had gotten so sick from the cigarette smoke in our hotel room (courtesy of Gojyo and Sanzo smoking like chimneys without opening any windows) that I got fed up and stole their lighters. The little silver firestarters stayed hidden, even when Sanzo threatened to shoot everyone full of holes if he didn't get his back. Not even my master was exempt from punishment.

But I stubbornly kept them hidden. I liked my lungs clean, thanks very much.

Around midnight I woke up to find Sanzo staring at the pouring rain like it had personally offended him. His golden hair was disheveled, shining faintly in the dim light, and his violet eyes were, if possible, even more narrow and droopy than normal. An unlit cigarette dangled from his lips, which were pulled back in a silent snarl.

"Kyuu?" I said, curious as to why the weather had this man so utterly angry at the world.

He jumped and spun around, his gun leveled at me. I instantly ducked, covering my head with my wings. "Kyuu!" I cried out, angry at his reaction. "Kyuu-kyuu, kyuu!"

"Che, just shuddup, stupid dragon," he grumbled, putting the weapon back under his pillow. He started patting himself down for his lighter before remembering he didn't have it. "God fucking dammit, I need a smoke."

I tilted my head to the side. "Kyuu?" He seemed more...tetchy, I guess would be the word, tetchy then normal. And that was saying something. Curious, I went over and hopped up next to him, ever wary of his gun and that harisen that always seemed to materialize from nowhere.

He shot me a glare. "What d'you want? Leave me alone."

But I couldn't do that. He seemed genuinely uncomfortable about the rain. Hakkai didn't like rain much either. Maybe...just maybe...it had to do with something in his past, just like Hakkai?

Carefully, since I didn't want to be smacked or shot, I stretched out my neck as far it would go. A little burp, and a tiny ball of flame popped out of my jaws and landed on the end of Sanzo's cigarette. He started, turning to stare at me in surprise. I hit his hand with my tail and pointed to the window. "Kyuu kyuu!" I ordered, conveying _If you have to smoke that thing, open the damn window so I don't suffocate._

Sanzo's eyebrow lifted in surprise. The window was opened, and the clean scent of rain-washed earth rolled into the stuffy room. I gratefully filled my lungs with fresh air as Sanzo huffed and puffed his cigarette like it was going out of style.

"Thanks." I almost thought I was hearing things, but when I looked at him, Sanzo was looking at me with a defeated smirk. "I owe you one, Hakuryuu."

I turned around and continued to inhale clean air. "Kyuu," I said offhandedly, shrugging my shoulder in the human _Whatever _motion.

The next morning everything was normal, except for one thing - the lighters were back in their masters' possessions. I think Sanzo caught on that I had them. Ever since then, Sanzo is sure to open the window when he lights up.

Genjyo Sanzo wears the mask of a foul-mouthed hardass, concealing his human side. But I have seen behind that mask, and Sanzo has weak moments just like everyone else. But I have kept this secret, since he has done a small kindness for me.

**~Back in the Present~**

So there you have it.

Four men, each a strange combination of yin and yang. Too stained with blood to be considered for Heaven, but too good to be slated for Hell. They travel together towards a common goal, but they do not consider themselves to be friends.

But despite this, they have not killed each other yet.

My name is Hakuryuu, and although I am a dragon, I can see things that most others miss.

Like how when Hakkai's fake smile gives way to a genuine smile, it only shows when he's with Sanzo, or Goku, or Gojyo, or me.

Like how Gojyo's teasing is always directed towards lightening a situation after an especially tense moment, and when he pulls a sexual innuendo he always watches Sanzo so as to avoid his gun.

Like how Goku tries to do his best to protect his three other companions, trusting their reasons for whatever actions they do.

Like how Sanzo, despite threatening to shoot everyone dead on more than one occasion, has never actually followed through with that threat.

The sun is rising now, bathing the ground with fiery rays of daylight. I've been up all night with my reminiscings, and now I'm tired as hell. Yawning, I stretch my wings and curl up beside my master, making my body small enough for him to carry easily. I'll just sleep this day away. It's warm and clear, and I'm sure they'll be okay without me.

"Hakuryuu?" Hakkai's voice, banging on the door of my almost-asleep mind. "Hakuryuu? Are you all right?"

"He still asleep?" Gojyo's drawl, sounding annoyed. "Well, wake him up. I wanna get to town tonight."

"I'm hungry," whines Goku. "Hakuryuu, wake up!"

"Shut up!" shouts Sanzo. The click of his revolver was unmistakeable. "Hakkai! Get that stupid dragon awake and transformed or I'm gonna shoot you all full of holes!"

I feel a hand shaking me gently. "Hakuryuu. Hakuryuu, wake up, please," pleads my master.

_Fat chance, _I thought, curling up tighter. _I've been up all night. No WAY am I driving you all while I'm this tired. We could get hurt._

I've carried these four across a continent and change, during which time they've fought (and won against) youkai assassins, human bandits, and the odd vengeful shadow from their pasts. They've also survived camping in forests and deserts, bad weather, Scripture-hunters, going days without food or water, and each other's company.

They can walk a couple dozen miles to the next town.

It won't kill them.

"Hakuryuu," says Hakkai again, a little apprehensive, as Sanzo's gun makes another _click _as he cocks the hammer.

_Better start walking, Sanzo-Ikkou._

I give a tiny smile as I give a sleepy "Kyuu."


End file.
